Aptitude test for day traders

1. When I want investment advice, I get it from:

a) The Stock Market Guide to Profitable Investments
b) The Wall Street Journal
c) Complete strangers I run into at the video store.

2. When I wake up in the morning, I:

a) Shower
b) Get dressed.
c) Lift my head off the keyboard and start shorting drug stocks.

3. In order to trade stocks intelligently, one must have a:

a) BA
b) MBA
c) Mouse

4. The last book I read was:

a) Madame Bovary.
b) The Stock Market Guide to Profitable Investments
c) Windows 2000 for Dummies.

5. I go to the doctor:

a) Once a year.
b) Once every two years.
c) When I put my fist through the screen.

6. "TCS" is a company that manufactures:

a) Paper
b) Cowboys
c) I have no idea, but I just bought two hundred shares.

7. When I am in a bar and meet a beautiful woman/man who seems to be attracted to me, the first thing I look at is:

a) Her/his face.
b) Her/his body.

8. "Beating the spread" refers to:

a) The way whipped cream cheese is made.
b) The way Honduran peasant women clean their bed coverings.
c) Don't know/care.

9. "P/E ratio" means:

a) Something to do with, like, stocks and junk like that.
b) The number of times per hour that a day trader has to use the bathroom.
c) Like I care?

10. A "tick" is:

a) A nervous syndrome common to day traders.
b) Something that often lives in a day trader's hair.
c) These questions are really starting to make me mad, dude!

If you answered (c) to any of the above questions ...

Congratulations!!! ...

You do have what it takes to succeed in the fast-paced, action-packed world of the day traders!

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